What am I for

I'm not in a very good mood these days.

In the evening I watch movies with Audrey Hepburn and wonder how beautiful was she. At work I am taught how to work with the corporate programs and today I made several bookings myself. Oh, didn't I write that I work at the reservation department of Hilton Moscow ? Well, I do. My university starts only in November and this period since September to November is dedicated to my diploma internship. So, now I live life of an ordinary adult who goes to work every morning and comes home late in the evening. Though, I work only part-time, I can imagine this life. I feel empty, I feel unwanted or maybe I am? Am I a total zero? What for do I live? What for do you live? Why me? Why you? These questions may seem silly cos the answer to them is unique for every single person. Someone founds family and lives for these people: the kids, the husband or wife. Someone makes his own career, runs his business, gets some money, shares the profit. But is that all? What for was I created?) such a mess is on my mind the whole day and I don't know how to relax and be grateful for this opportunity to be here, to exist. Sometimes, I think it would be better without me at all. In that case, probably, there would be more benefit to everyone, especially, to my parents. 

The whole morning I thought of what should I do next, after the university. Work and live? I don't have a husband, so this is the only variant that suits me? Or should I continue studying and get a degree ? MBA or smth? But it costs a lot and I can't ask my parents to do that for me. I'm sure they won't refuse, my mum since my early childhood told me about moving somewhere else to live, to work. She spoke about me, not herself. Of course, she doesn't mind living in another country, but she cares only bout me. And what ? What can I do? What did I achieve? Entered the university? Like everyone does, that's not an achievement. All my life they spend money: or dear, you wanna travel? Go on. 

I'm really obsessed with travelling, I've liked  it since my first journey. But it needs constant financing, and I'm just a student working a part-time job.

Well, in one hour I gotta go to my pupil, we proceeded with our lessons. Have to find some marmelades to elevate my mood)

Ciao!)

Happy unicorn in Paris